“I exist as I am, that is enough.”~Walt Whitman
Today I finally made the connections. Looking back at all the pain and suffering in my life I now realize it was meant to shape my life for the present moment. This morning I listened to my daily, Eckhart Tolle lecture. I listen to his guidance everyday because his wisdom helps me to put things into perspective.
Over the last few years I often wondered how this life situation of mine became such a tangled mess. Why did I have to undergo such intense suffering at every level? What was the purpose of this life if all I could do was survive? Everything is always so difficult. Is it even worth it to continue living amidst so much struggle? Yet, everyday I wake up brand new and ready to slay.
Growing up in the Caribbean under unremitting domestic violence I still dared to dream; to believe in better beyond the welts and bruises. I believe it was this spirit of resurrection that kept me alive and moving forward. Even when I was a little girl suffering under an abusive father I imagined a better life. My heart would burst with colorful dreams of an intangible world. I knew there had to be more than a life of pain and suffering. In moments of calm I ventured to the ocean propelling my spirit across azure horizons to shores beyond my island home. I knew that the day would come when I would be ‘over there’ not knowing i was already ‘here’.
Looking back over the debris of my life from where I stand I now understand that every aspect of this life situation of mine was guided by an unseen hand. Every step I took, every painful moment until now, today, was meant to be. I am here because I am meant to be here. No longer in denial of my purpose I have accepted my journey in all ways and on all levels. Now in my silver years, I appreciate and accept all aspects of me. I look forward to this new beginning with great appreciation and anticipation.
PeaceAnOneLuv in Clarity